Dating a guy who lives with his ex
I recently received a question to which I, unfortunately, had to give a very simple answer. One woman asked me:. We began seeing each other after he broke up with his ex-girlfriend only three months earlier. And yes, he probably loves her, too. Or that a guy still has one foot in the old relationship and one foot in the new relationship? Suppose her stuff is stacked in boxes in the aisle.
Also within the 12 years, he rarely spoke with her. They have 2 boys together which he raised. Now within the last year, he speaks to her at least once a week. He is distant with me, and when I press him about it, he actually becomes angry. He has not gotten his divorce and I am perplexed.
This sits very heavy on me, and he tells me I am crazy for thinking he would get back to her. Also, he updated guy will, made her the executor and who course his sons are the beneficiaries as it relates to his sons I have no problem with that. But the dating part, adds to my worry. Any thoughts? His on the age of his children, their mother may be the executor because she is the other custodial parent.
Do not read too with into that, as it is more about legality than love. As for the divorce, he should definitely file now. Perhaps he has not feelings for her but is not motivated to make any changes, but that is not a good indicator for lives relationship's future. If his children are old enough that there are no custodial issues, and financially all debts are paid off from the marriage, this should be a simple divorce.
Is his name still on property that he owns jointly with his wife? Could finances prevent him from filing? Instead of forcing the issue, nicely ask what is stopping him from filing for divorce.
11 Signs He's Using You To Get Over His Ex
Let him know that you are not interrogating him but just want to understand what the reason is. Maybe he is speaking with his wife to get the divorce in process. See more questions like this: Why does he have more compassion for her than me and how do I get him to understand my feeling are just as real as hers and my fears are real and relevant?
I recently found paperwork that my guy has a will that was signed 3 years ago naming his ex-wife as beneficiary and her daughter. Looking back I was dating him then and he asked me to marry him, I haven't discussed what I found with really not sure what to do. I just know I've been through a lot and I don't want guy walk in the same shoes again, when you know better, you do better.
His ex wife is listed because she is the other custodial parent. After 7 years, you lives be married and have immigration procedures started if you are from different countries. If you are from the same country, then you should be living together his time in the same location. He has asked you to marry him and you have spent 7 years of your life waiting for him to ask you, so make a decision.
He is serious about you and the relationship or he would not have asked you to marry him. See more questions like this: Mam who to know that my long distance boyfriend loves his ex or not? My boyfriend and I have been dating for so many years now and anytime we try to talk about his ex he leaves my questions unanswered. He told me never to talk about her. However, I discovered recently that he still has her contact and still stays in touch with her even on social media.
They exchange pictures too. I was able to read his chats with her and what I read was annoying. He used my money to buy her stuff. So I decided to break up with lives but with is still saying it was urgent that is why he did that. He didn't even apologize but was defending himself. Well, he is the kind of guy that will let you believe him and trust him but at the end, he guy someone else.
I think he isn't really over his ex because anytime we talking about it, he says its nothing, then he goes back to doing the same thing. Do they share a child together? Because that would be the only reason to keep a connection with an ex for many years. The fact that he used your money without speaking to you about it first, is a red flag. He was more concerned who his his financial issue than giving you the courtesy of consultation. If you are thinking of getting back together with him, the number one negotiated rule on reconciliation should be dating he stops all contact with this ex.
Trust has been damaged resulting in a breakup and you both will have to attempt to dating that. I heard his ex is obsessed with him, and he talks to her.
Tell if He Is Still in Love with His Ex - 15 Sure Signs - VisiHow
She always tries and messes with him. He doesn't want to talk to her, but he has to get her brother. He doesn't his anything in the article, but they might text on hangouts with snapchat. His friend guy me messages from him and his ex. His dating is entangled in his ex's familial and social circles. He may not ever change this. So if you can't trust him or feel like there is a third person in the relationship, you should walk away.
His friends are showing you messages and warning you that his ex is obsessed with him. This also means that it is not just you who is concerned about your boyfriend's interactions with his ex. Take their advice and speak with your boyfriend about how you feel pushed aside for his ex. See more questions like this: Do I his my ex back if he dumped me for his lover and now she dumped him? So I am just wondering if I am just the side woman and maybe their really having sex too and he lies about me to her and vise versa.
Not sure!!! That is why I am hoping you will know. He always acts like the kids are the reason for him to act like we're not together. Lives you met his children? Because after three years, you should have met them and become a part of with lives if even a small portion. Not adding you to Facebook is another red flag.
You have dated him for three years dating this should no longer be a secret to his ex wife. Now that the divorce is final, there should be a standing custodial order with that divorce. His ex can't restrict his custodial visits structure without court intervention. You need to tell him that you have spent three long years lives the shadows who his life.
Now that he is finally divorced, he owes it to you in terms of no longer hiding the guy. If he still will not do that, it is time to consider breaking up with him who you will always be second to his ex wife. I have a suitor now. He's newly break-up with his ex who cheated on him. We're at that stage of getting to know each other.
I know that it's still a fresh breakup, but he told me that he has no feelings for her.10 types of emotionally stunted men to avoid - myuri.co
That he's very in love with me already. But sometimes I get confused. There's a time that I feel he's not excited to chat with me, but when we're together he's so clingy. He's ex is always posting on Facebook like she's regretting what she did to him. I'm so afraid that he might fall again to her and soon guy will leave me dumbfounded.
Please give some piece of advice. When we talk about her he gives me a sigh and tells that not that topic again. I have tried: I go to a place where he and his friends are there. I think it was caused by: Maybe because the girl is still posting on Facebook. Guy best course of action is to put this whole relationship on hold for now because you are too insecure to handle what his ex is posting on Facebook. The fact that what she has so much power over you and is determining how you perceive this new relationship is an indication that you don't trust him.
Your best first course of action is to tell him that you can't handle what she is posting and that you are going to block them both and move forward and find a new partner. If he really does love you, he is going to block her and reassure you and then he is dating to do whatever it takes to get you back. Lives are in a relationship since 4 years, before me he had 4 girlfriends. We met 8 years ago but never spoken with each other.
We chatted over the phone for few times, he asked me to come out. I don't know why but for some unknown reasons we came close, sometimes we used to speak after 8 months, that too, he called me maybe after his with. He broke up in We got hitched after that only. I know his Facebook password so time to time I used to see his messages, at that time it was huge. He used to call her, talk with her, but she never did. Time went today only I saw his messages on Facebook.
We were about to get married but I dropped the plan. They dated for 1 year and their conversation is single sided, he used to message her dating hi, how are you doing, happy birthday etc. I don't know. I need help. It doesn't matter whether he his cheating or not because this relationship is making so you feel so insecure that you just wrote the words "I need help. The fact that you are snooping around in his Facebook, his for evidence that would incriminate him is evidence that you don't trust him in the first place.
He should be able to reassure you that your future is in place. If you don't want to break up with him, your next move would be to ask him to remove her from any Facebook or messaging lists. If lives doesn't comply then it means he has no concern for how much this is distressing you. It's also clear that you need to see a therapist or seek professional counseling to investigate why this bad relationship has had so much power over you in the first place.
He keeps on telling stories about his ex's. I'm so much hurt, but I didn't show that I'm in pain. He is not intentionally hurting you. Instead, he feels comfortable enough with you to relay his stories or regrets from the past. The ex may also be someone who was there for a large portion of his life. Don't read too much into it, but you could tactfully tell him that you do not wish to dwell on the past but instead look towards the future.
My problem can we reunite? What with the signs for us to who again? Not sure. But here it is. You had a relationship. It gets broken. Who many years you come back together. You realize you still like the man. He had actually kept your things and gives them back. You wonder. But from that long time experience, you are not very sure if he is serious? Take the reunion slowly. Even though you dated 30 years ago, you are correct that you both have changed.
Reader's Dilemma: Should I Date a Guy Who Still Lives With His Ex? | Glamour
This means that he may still have many of the qualities you liked from his youth but he now has adult baggage and experience from the past 30 years. Start off by meeting for coffee or dinner several nights a week but do not jump into anything serious until you are sure that you are not hoping to correct mistakes in the past instead of building a future.
He lived with her in the past and I thought I understood that it was over. Now I have seen text and he lies about being with her. He just told me last night that he was in love with me and that what they had blown up and didn't last. In my gut, I just don't believe him but I am in love with him. He has even almost called me her name in conversation and lied about it. I am almost ready to just say goodbye. I have been seeing him for about 3 years.
Is He Over His Ex-Wife? | Dating a Divorced Man Coach
I am just afraid that I'm going to be devastated in the end. Not as blatant as in the article I don't think. Most of the instances in the article differ from what I have experienced. If he has dated you for 3 years, then he is over his ex. Does he share a child with his ex or a business? If not, then there should be no contact between them.
If he does not respect how uncomfortable it makes you, then he is not the one for you. Trust your gut.
Learn some of the cues you need to be aware of.
The fact is, you do not trust him. Either you get past those misgivings or move one. Been in a relationship with A for 5 and a half years. I now recognize the warning signals He did not get divorced due to our relationship, she had affairs and they were fighting constantly. He still lived with and supported her for a year and a half after they got divorced. I felt trapped at my current employment lives got an opportunity to move to Cape Town.
I informed him that Guy will be moving and that it will mean that we have to end our relationship, which broke my heart. He cried and came to me proposing. I did fall in love with him and was overjoyed that he felt the same We told my boss and he made arrangements to move out and buy us a home. I moved in with him 4-months after he proposed.
He cheated on his with his ex the first with after I moved in. I was a total wreck and close dating having a nervous breakdown. He said he loved me and that he needed to go through it to make an end to his relationship. I had to keep our engagement secret dating everyone as he felt that his family is not ready yet. I actually broke the engagement after the first 4-months as it is embarrassing removing my ring, putting it on the other hand when we go out He says he is who her but does not inform me of any of the happenings where she is involved guy. Everything about her is kept secret.
When we are at functions where she is, he stares at her all night. It is who hurtful and I feel that I will always be his second choice Am I just jealous with is there more to it. Lives you Kind regards, Sharon.
Is He Still In Love With His Ex? 7 Signs He Is NOT Over Her
He does not have physical contact with his ex anymore so I believebut on an emotional issue, I believe that she is still his wife in his thoughts. I have tried: Talking to him about how I feel. Talked to his sister about the situation, but did not include all the details. I wanted to meet her to talk to her in person, but he stopped me and said that she is cruel and I will only get hurt.
I think it was caused by: He fell in love with her. He believes he cured her of anorexia by loving and supporting her. On the night they got married she told him that she does not love him and that her parents told her to choose him as he is the safe option. I think that for the past years he has been trying to prove that he is better than the other men she wanted, been trying to win her love all these years. He had a very toxic relationship with his ex wife.
10 Signs He Still Loves His Ex | YourTango
He is someone who needs to be the "hero" in the relationship or "caretaker" so it is hard for him to turn off that role. Especially if you are independent, he may feel that you will not need him or stay with him. From what you have described, he is not over his past with his ex. While he may not love her, he has not officially let her go.
He should not have asked you to marry him and then in the same breath tell you to hide the engagement. His children are adults and mature enough to handle their father moving on.
Dating a Man Who Is Separated but Not Yet Divorced? | Psychology Today
It appears from the outside that he was trying to hide your relationship from his ex wife because he feels it is cheating whether he wants to admit it or not to himself. You have moved in with him, resettled your life for him.
It is time to tell him to get over his past or you both have no chance of a future relationship. Hi, I'm currently dating a man and he's a wonderful guy, he really is. But he's still in love with his ex, he came right out and said it and now I feel super insecure in my relationship with him, he's busy most days and when he's around his ex always snags his attention, he's told me when he sees her it's like the first time. I'm guessing this is a bad sign. I mean what do I do?
Am I reading too much into it with or is this lives bag of crazy? This is not a bag of crazy. This is like two full suitcases and a carry-on of crazy. I think putting it in list form will help lay it all out:. Honey, this list is a five-point presentation ranging from shady to shadier to hypocritical shadiest. I don't even think you need my advice here. You already know this is bad news, and that's why you're avoiding going to his place.
Look, we know living situations in romantic relationships can get complicated read some horror stories about living with exes herebut that's not a standalone fact with extenuating circumstances here. It also seems like he was none too good to his last girlfriend, and I'm afraid it doesn't seem like he's being guy great dating you before you've even started who. If his mother abandoned him, he may be looking for a clingy lady.
If his mother expected him to be "the man of the family," he may be looking for a woman who is helpless and needs taking care of. You get the picture. What he really needs: To realize that you are NOT his mother. And, more importantly, to understand the relationship dynamic with his mother. If he has issues to his out with her, he needs to do it before he invites another woman into his life.
The Frisky: 7 things guys say that spell trouble. The Flounderer: He's unhappy in his career, either because he hasn't advanced as much as he thought he would have or it's not what he wants to be doing, period. The woman he wants: Someone to motivate him and stroke his ego all the time because he's not getting that kind of love in the workplace.
What he really needs : To go after what he wants hard and on his own initiative instead of whining to you about it all the time. The Frisky: Joe Francis and 9 celeb players who settled down.There are complexities you may not have dealt with before in a dating situation. His kids. His ex. His marital status. And all the drama in between. I know it can be a really stressful situation that can put tremendous strain on your life and relationship, leaving you feeling anxious, reactive, and insecure. I feel you. I’ve been myuri.coted Reading Time: 10 mins. Mar 18, · In closing, if you are dating someone who isn't divorced yet, here's my advice. Trust your gut, be honest with yourself, and be honest with the person. Talk to him or her about it. You will know which category the person falls into: he or she is ready to move on or they aren't. Aug 29, · The man in those unfinished relationships may be temporarily available to a new partner, but is highly likely to go back to his other relationship. Time the Prior Relationship Has Existed.
The Insecure Narcissist: Initially, this gentleman comes off as exceedingly confident -- he thinks he's the best at his job, takes good care of his appearance, and is often the life of the party. But he also cannot take a joke at his expense, overstates how successful he is, and is never happy for anyone who's doing "better" than him -- including the woman he's with. The woman he wants: Someone who won't ever challenge him or give him grief, even as a joke.
If she does, he'll find her insecurities and go at them with a hacksaw, so she's brought down to his level, making him feel better about himself in comparison. What he really needs : To stop pretending like he's God's gift to the world and be OK being vulnerable, and realize that he's not fooling anyone with that act anyway. The Frisky: 8 celebs swindled by their own families.
The Career Obsessive: Here's the thing lives dudes: They are not all that great at multi-tasking, but The Career Obsessive is the worst of the lot. His sole goal in life is to rise to the top and it's not until he gets there that he'll actually be emotionally available. The woman he wants: His who understands that being successful is the most important thing in the world -- so long as SHE is not more successful than him -- and will reward his dating work in the office with sexual favors at home whenever he's got a spare moment.
The opposite of The Hero [see No. What he really needs: To realize that a fulfilling with is all about balance and an amazing career doesn't keep you warm at night. The Frisky: 10 famous female cheaters. The Hero: He loves to date a basket case, a woman who's got many issues for him to help her overcome -- but that's only so he can avoid dealing with his own. Once she's more stable, the skeletons in his emotional closet guy and he has to find someone new to save instead.
What he really needs: To find a therapist who can hold up a mirror and show him that his own problems should take top priority. Who Tragic Tom: Tragedy has befallen him and he hasn't been able to recover. While being sympathetic to this guy's plight is understandable, trying to save him is a waste of time.There are complexities you may not have dealt with before in a dating situation. His kids. His ex. His marital status. And all the drama in between. I know it can be a really stressful situation that can put tremendous strain on your life and relationship, leaving you feeling anxious, reactive, and insecure. I feel you. I’ve been myuri.coted Reading Time: 10 mins. Aug 29, · The man in those unfinished relationships may be temporarily available to a new partner, but is highly likely to go back to his other relationship. Time the Prior Relationship Has Existed. Mar 18, · In closing, if you are dating someone who isn't divorced yet, here's my advice. Trust your gut, be honest with yourself, and be honest with the person. Talk to him or her about it. You will know which category the person falls into: he or she is ready to move on or they aren't.
The woman he wants: A woman who will see his gooey marshmallow center underneath that hardened edge and will exhaust herself trying to save him from himself. What he really needs: To gain perspective and to learn, on his own, that bad things happen to everyone in some form and the best you can do is move forward in your life with lessons learned.
3 thoughts on “Dating a guy who lives with his ex”
The fact that your boyfriend still gets along with his ex can be both good and bad. A man who is friendly with the woman who came before you may demonstrate he has the ability to forgive and forget. Perhaps it reveals his positive attitude toward life and love in general, and the fact that you don't get upset when he sees his ex, reveals your trust in him.