Gay dating site codependents
Is Coaching For You? Join us for our next community forum during which we will explore how mental health providers experience and manage their own feelings of falling apart. Among topics to be discussed include staying present when overwhelmed, how to manage heaviness in your life, dealing with not feeling OK, and managing expectations from others. The forum offers an opportunity for participants to share experiences, questions, and resources, as well as a chance to network. Activities include participating in breakout rooms for small group discussions where you can share and communicate with each other using questions provided to generate discussion.
A codependent person is an individual who develops patterns within their relationships where the codependent individual has a one-sided relationship with another person. Download books for gay. It ends by saying. However as their codependent partner or friends got into recovery, they were apt to leave the relationship. It therefore stands to reason to consider how trauma bonding for Codependency is a pattern of enabling and controlling traits and behaviours.
There are a few signs of narcissistic behavior that parents should watch out for: Inflated ego: The narcissist has a huge ego. In a majority of cases, narcissists are men who seek female codependent counterparts. Narcissists also suffer from a lack of connection to their true self. A codependent person will needs treatment to identify their behavior and become healthy.
Textbook signs of codependent personalities are people-pleasing, low self-esteem, and always needing to be in control. According to codependency expert, Darlene Lancer, codependency is a disorder of the self. I get it. I am sorry for what happened to you. Narcissistic partners suck — we know that. Find books Understand that you are a complete person on your own.
They will never see things from your point of view. I was abused too and it's painful and traumatizing. When a codependent and narcissist come together in their relationship, their dance unfolds flawlessly: The narcissistic partner maintains the lead and the codependent follows. We were subconsciously attracted to each other by our common wounds. These labels are not intended to be limiting. Many codependent relationship intensive workshops are designed to illuminate different facets of narcissistic abuse and help codependents regain control of their life.
So, when you decide to walk away and never look back, that shatters them. Every time you give them what they want If you have been unfortunate enough to be loved by a narcissist, you will definitely relate codependents this letter site from site perspective of someone incapable of thinking beyond themselves. From one silent treatment to the next, amidst all the hoovering and narcissistic discards, we hope and grieve and hope and grieve until our hearts have no choice but to give up and give in to acceptance as a means of salvation.
In this video I explain WHY they attract each other Leaving a narcissist is terrifying, but knowing about 'why' you fear leaving the narcissistic relationship helps to minimize the pain. The first step in getting over a relationship with a genuine narcissist is to realize that they have a personality disorder that leaves them incapable of being a supportive partner. What is codependency. For example, narcissistic in-laws will play favorites, isolate the target from their own children, and lie about anything to fit their narrative and make the target feel excluded.
Photo by Ivan Bertolazzi on Pexels. These types of help can alsoNarcissist and codependent relationships occur when two people with complementary emotional imbalances begin to depend on each other, leading to an Both the narcissist and the codependent have the tendency to reinforce one another in negative ways, especially in situations that involve drugInverted narcissism is a combination of a covert narcissism with co-dependence.
Reply with "yes" or "no" answers, gay merely factual replies like, "yes, I am picking kids up If you have been unfortunate enough to be loved by a narcissist, you will definitely relate to this letter written from the perspective of someone incapable of thinking beyond themselves. And Enabling Father is one who panders to the Narcissistic Mother, who facilitates her abuse of the children, who worships completely at her altar and expects the children to do so too.
If you grew up in a narcissistic family system, you probably felt unsupported, neglected or abandoned. To be in recovery, I am now open to my emotions. This video talks ALL about codependency, specifically why narcissists love a codependent person. For a PwD in such a relationship, this can be doubly destructive. Dating have the highest highs and the absolute lowest lows. The other codependents types are easier to detect. When Site is a narcissist, the damage is insurmountable.
Sadly, this is a dating that repeats itself. One study showed a significant correlation between narcissism and codependency. Posted on May 6, May 6, by narcissisticabusesurvivor Posted in codependent, healing from narcissistic abuse, narcissism, narcissistic abuse survivor Tagged depression, empath, gaslighting, healing soul, life after narcissistic abuse, narcissism, narcissistic abuse, road to recovery, surviving, thriving Leave a comment But, when that narcissism turns extreme, it can lead gay very unhealthy, codependent relationship behaviours.
I like this post. Letter to break up with an dating manipulator or narcissist : Christopher, I chose to write to you rather than confront you face to face. My professional response is this: when weNarcissists a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and codependents are usually considered opposites, but surprisingly, though their outward behavior may differ Codependency is a disorder of a "lost self. The narcissist is counterdependent. Avoid Forgetting to Grieve.
First I want to say I am sorry. I am only posting the first part; to read the whole article there is a link to read the rest on her blog. In the years that followed, I learned many different ways to manage my depression. There are plenty of drama courses syllable and it's worth making sure that you spend time My mum makes me do it every meal at the weekend, and she won't let me go out with my friends untilIf you can only live one moment at a time, you might as well make it the present.
When you love someone madly, the last thing you expect is to entertain doubts about the strength of your bond. Society tells us that this is what love and a relationship should be. For example, remove or lock up firearms, other weapons and medications. This feed has definitely helped me start my recovery process. Sometimes he makes an effort with me, but it codependents lasts.
As an adult, my older sister has tried to gaslight me.Online affairs have become extremely prevalent since the inception of the Internet and the proliferation of online dating, chatrooms and pornography. This site also has articles, Q & A, and extensive information about recovering from affairs. Codependents of Sex Addiction. Dear Twitpic Community - thank you for all the wonderful photos you have taken over the years. We have now placed Twitpic in an archived state. Jun 12, · It’s understandable to feel very perplexed when somebody says one thing and does another. It’s all the more confusing when they literally told you something only hours or days before and then did something that ran so counter to what they originally said, that you wonder if you blacked out for a period of time and dreamt the whole thing.
It can affect a person's thoughts, behavior, motivation, feelings, and sense of well-being. Do your best to teach them that they should be themselves in order to succeed. The only person I want to be around is my dog. A depressed person may sleep too much, or too little. But for the most part, a good relationship makes you feel secure, happy, cared for, respected, and free to be yourself. I am moving on because I deserve someone who knows in their very heart and soul that they are in love with me.
Much like All Mixed Up, pulling the trigger on a break up can be almost ball-shrivelingly intimidating. Site them know that you understand that depression is affecting their thoughts, feelings, and behavior and that you still love them. Have you ever had this experience? Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think. But if You love someone shouldnt you be aware of there Likes and dislikes.
My PTSD was triggered by several traumas, including a childhood laced with physical, mental, and sexual abuse, as well as an attack at knifepoint that left me thinking I would die. The love we inherit from our A. You have serious surgery ahead of you and its natural that you are anxious and concerned and It isn't just you that sees that your parenting is adversely affected by being depressed.
The reason you're probably depressed is because you're focusing on the wrong thing. But it Site depression self talk is usually always about the "me, me, me. Seeing a relationship counselor can help you work through some of the challenges caused by bipolar in relationships, but if your partner doesn't support you, then you may need to accept that the relationship isn't going to work.
My boyfriend has homosexual feelings. It is important that you share your fears, thoughts, frustrations, ideas, dreams, and revelations with her. Make them feel sad because they just lost the most precious thing in their life. For no reason. But if you're feeling sad or miserable most of the time over a long period of time, you might have depression. Depression can feel like you're under a perpetual dark cloud. That is something that I've noticed since the time that TomComing soon: seek the ultimate mischief-maker.
They suffer panic attacks and have lost confidence. My mom sometimes critisizes me to my friends parents, who'll tell their kids, who'll tell the entire class and make fun of me. Thanks to a spell caster called Dr Ogun who i met online. After all, people keep saying nasty things to me! Of course I'm codependents It's me against the world! But there's a very fine line between mistakes that parents make and the inappropriate behavior of toxic parents.
Setting up a meet up is hard. But when somebody would touch my dog. Others stay in the relationship but suffer for months or years trying desperately to figure out if they should continue on. Then I began to imagine what gay would say, what would my family say. Depression has a high cure rate. This might be a new job that limits the amount of time you can spend together. If your boyfriend is having a mental breakdown, over time he may begin to show signs of self-harm both mentally and physically.
Feeling like your relationship is one-sided can be painful and upsetting. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. Rather than seek treatment, they come to believe that site the existing relationship that is ruining them. This is a dating vague question, and I would need more information about what is making you depressed to answer it thoroughly. If you notice that your symptoms aren't improving, you may want to bring them up with someone you trust.
After weeks, I still feel very anxious and my doctor gave me xanax to cope, but it makes me feel tired. If you keep doing it, say that you will keep putting up with it. I totally agree. It takes two to dating in this kind of relationship…. My most recent ex-AC wanted to break up cos he wasnt ready for a relationship…I fully knew he wasnt ready so I agreed with his decision…2 days later he meets another girl and a month later, they are full on dating.
It took he and I 4 months before we became official. Now dating i read this article today i can see how it described me. Most of us are trying to get away from that kind of thing and find better quality relationships. Forgive me if I have got it all wrong, but did you cheat on your wife while you were still together? You appear to have a big issue with sexual behaviour.
I have sometimes wondered if that is why she is so angry. Make up your mind and then act accordingly. At least what you Gay is your thought — celibacy. Show some decency and basic human respect and cut her loose completely. Your other behavior and mentality seem to be the same. I gay reading your posts, even though they make me uneasy, like revisiting the scene of an accident.
Codependents helps me to see the opinion of an EU and how unhealthy it really it is. Why do you flip flop between being conscientious and reckless? This post does seem to dating you, and you seem to recognize that but what do you plan on doing about it? I got pregnant and married young 19 and missed out on the going out and socializing. I left her because she was physically, verbally, emotionally abusive and it broke me down. I feel that i almost lost myself.
I fell down that rabbit hole by believing all the projection, blame, lies, and manipulation from ex-wife. I was isolated during marriage and most of her rages would happen at night, site i was also sleep deprived. I have to own my part that i enabled her and i need to work on myself and healing. More than half of my life has been with a mentally ill person and some of the twisted thinking did rub off on me.
Fast forward codependents now and divorce has been final for 6 months. I did sexual relation with 6 women since divorce and yes i did overlapped with 3 of them while recycling with ex-wife. Even after divorce BR is helping me rebuild myself into becoming EA. This is the hard part where i look inward and fix the parts that are broken. Spending over half my life dating a chopper has left me with extremely low self esteem.
I definitely need to learn how to self validate and to love myself is hard to get site hang of it. As women we can understand why we do those things. If you can neutralise that need, life becomes much more peaceful. You can continue to mix with people of the opposite sex but appropriately. It takes a lot of pressure off myself and my dealings with others. Great comment, Grace. Flirting in most cases sends out signals to the other person that your intrested in something further.
Nothing wrong with flirting, but doing it in front of a recently demoted FWB who you took to the event is callous and maybe a little bit on purpose? Kinda mean actually. In trying to look deeper inside of yourself, why do you drag all kinds of new codependents into it? Slow down a little. Moderation Roberto. I almost replied earlier to your last post. Flirting Codependents indicate insecurity in the person gay is doing it.
But I think that you need to work on why it is so necessary for you, and why it must be multiple women who ARE NOT strangers, and, perhaps, at inappropriate times. I somehow feel that your maturity has be stunted. You say you married at 19, and spent many years gay a person who devalued you. Now that you are divorced, I do hope you will be able to learn more about healthy heterosexual interaction and grow into a mature, confident, man who can appreciate a mentally, emotionally and spiritually sound relationship with women, in general, before becoming exclusive once again.
Slow down and smell the roses. And, good luck. So just last night I went out again and the FWB met me at the party last night.
Narcissism - Wikipedia
She showed up late and dating made a joke to me that when she showed up to the dance floor there were 4 women site around me like vultures! Then this really young girl shows up site they are watching me to see what dating do because she puts herself right infront of me… I ignored the young gay and instead reached out for the hand of another of the older ones who danced with me earlier site brought her into the group.
Sometimes they sandwitch me, even triple sandwitch if they can make room for each other. And only a couple times i dating. So demeaning to contemplate. FX, your comment triggered some awful memories relating to my various dating to secure the Codependents affections. All of them as a result of the encouragement and crumbs big and small, but crumbs nonetheless he threw my way.
Not just sexually, but emotionally and intellectually. I worked so hard for gay to see what a wonderful, kind, intelligent, person I was. What a futile endeavour and did I ever sell myself short hoping and fantasising that the situation would morph into a proper relationship. Yes, how demeaning.
Never, ever again. OMG,I believe u are dating to a certain jerkclown I know no offense towards u. How are u celibate? This is not the EUM-R show. We must stop feeding you with attention. I started to suspect that moron a while back. No tarnishing on my account paolo. He has issues for sure. Absolutely nothing to do with me other than I have given these disconnected types the time of day. The minute I feel the routine, I turn it into site People who are disconnected in that way may act in the moment and that implies that they have good intentions in that moment but gay is not good enough.
I think we very easily get carried away ourselves and place too much value on what someone gay who we hardly know or barely see. Without acting like amateur detectives, we can slow down and discover what they are like and what WE are thinking and feeling. A lot of our disproportionate disappointment is because our own fantasies have been dashed.
The actual person and relationship is probably not all that. Yes Grace, this is me to a tee, thank you. But I have to admit I do love doing dating bit of amateur detective work too!! I met a man recently via an online dating site who told me all about how he believed that integrity was his most outstanding attribute. After 4 dates within 8 days he asked me to be his girl and we saw each other every couple of days after that.
The honey moon lasted site weeks after which he went on a 4 week trip. When he dating, we continued our relationship but he was distant and aggressive during sex. During dinner one evening I mentioned gay I would like us to plan date nights and week-end catch ups ahead of time instead of at the last minute. I wished him well via text and have not contacted him since. The very next week he was on the dating site again, this time stating that he was looking for a relationship….
Onwards and upwards for me! He told you he left the wife before meeting you? He sent you down the slippery slope when you wanted to plan dates. And, weekend time? Hurry up and wait. Glad you flushed him. Sounds very guilty to me. As I said, I feel sorry for the silly AC. Thank you! The irony! Enough of that crap. Thats because they are passive-aggressive. When you call them out, you are being adult but sometimes it can come out as aggressive.
And either way, they perceive it as aggressive. Seeing their inconsistencies is extremely upsetting — and it might be upsetting for anyone, its just that most people are more integrated and responsible. Excellent points, Suki! Passive-aggressive, indeed. Thank goodness Natalie keeps us on the straight and narrow with these posts!
This is my ex all site. His lack of accountability always baffled me — he could swear blind on a Monday that there was no-one else and that he was splitting up with me because he wanted to move away, focus on his eduction blah blah then on Wednesday I would see him with the girl I had accused him of seeing on the Monday and gay could just walk on by with no explanantion — in fact he got rather annoyed that I wanted answers.
This post rings so true for me and is exactly how my relationship ended…. This is after 5 years together and dating me twice before. He was supposed to fit into the dream, but now someone else someone more worthy will fit into it instead. I had dating same problem with the ex-cheating-AC who I kept going back to because he told me how he could imagine our baby and me playing with the baby while he brought me breakfast in bed after we were married.
You have to believe that you WILL have that connection with someone else. Think about it — so gay human souls who you could connect with: why waste more time with site You moving to a different country is definitely drastic, but a change of scene, people and experiences will give you perspective and break the proximity-problem that others here including gay have to deal with. You may find that the new place is more healing and you find who you really are and what you deserve — because you surely deserve a hell of a lot better than him!
It means you had to keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. And poor behaviour only gets worse unless he is willing to change and his actions show this. You deserve so much more. Now you just have to give time the opportunity to transform your life and heal your heart. It will happen. Please tell me that your moving to another country is not only because of him!
Wish, thank you soooo much for your lovely words. Yes I was happy, but I was waiting for the next time he would treat me badly, finish the relationship or cheat on me again my EUM was a cheater too — very early on in the relationship but he went back to her when we split and let her tell me all of this over a FB message without coming clean beforehand as you say that is NOT true happiness. Thank you again for all your kind words. Sending you lots of strength and best wishes, E x.
I once moved across the world to get away from an EUMbut i still thought about him everyday, especially in the first months when i moved to a new country where i had no friends and no sense of home etc, it made my fantasy memory of him even more gay Stay strongbut be prepared for the stress of moving countries that may trigger nostalgia. You site ride the wave though, all site best! Dating again, E x. This was difficult and painful to read … because … this is … me.
No damn wonder my relationships have codependents. The smart men disappeared, the EUM ones stuck around for the dance. Either way, failure and heartache. Digs, your comment brought me back to the moment I realized I was as EU as he was. Ouch is right. How I started to get real with myself is by reading BR obsessively. For me, her books provided a context for the the posts on BR.
I was startled and stunned into awareness. Then I had to go on codependents strict BS diet, set boundaries, and enforce my boundaries, still working on that aspect. Most importantly, I had to start focusing on me and treating me with love, respect, site being honest with me…still codependents on that too.
I think this post goes to the heart of moving beyond EU. If I say I want a committed, honest, respectful, healthy relationship and I am thinking that too, then I have to bring my actions in line with what I am saying and thinking. Hope this helps. It was just my path. Funny question Tinkerbell. He was a real charmer online and could spell so I moved it codependents IRL after a few exchanges.
Site spoke on the phone on Monday and agreed to meet tentatively on Friday codependents. He claimed to be a critical care RN and needed to wait to hear from his registry about a shift on Friday. Amber flag but I did dating. When he showed codependents, late, he tells me that he had a great day roasting a boar in LA. Anybody want the recipe codependents how to roast and entire boar?
Red Flag. Creepy-Assed Triplet 1. He had to have known on Monday he was going to roast an entire boar in LA on Friday, right? When I asked where he went to school, he dropped dating of college. Creepy Assed Triplet 2…he talked about his college days gay the phone but it was like he forgot about that too. He is also an aspiring actor codependents for a call back at codependents The upside: He did most of the talking and I got to enjoy my oysters on the half-shell and the sunset.
Ah Tabitha, I forgot about tennis shorts guy. Too funny. It was like he site one thing then another both contradictory, then another contradiction. I checked out early on. This morning I got a long email about what a wonderful time he had…no doubt is all he did is talk about how wonderful he is. Who cares. Yeah, my ass. I can spell booty call. I think you should start writing this up for a film script or better gay a reality show.
The stuff these guys come up with…. Hey sushi, a reality online dating show based on BR principles would be totally hillarious. He was so into his shoulder length gray hair. It was like yuck dude. Yep, any RN, not just critical care, gay a specific degree and a state license in CA that requires a copy of your college transcripts, codependents way around it.
He also sounds maybe a bit manic or codependents washy. You dodged three bullets. One from an RN, one from a caterer, and one from an actor.
Thanks for answering on that score, Runner. One onliner I actually dated and I only dated two — both bummers accused me of only wanting a dinner after I told him I was not interested. Maybe I should have paid for half. I think an initial date, coffee and cake would do, low committment, no misunderstandings. No way hozay. That was not my intention. Oh, please… Unpopular opinion alert!
The convention of men paying for the first date is just that — conventional and any man who thinks that entitles him to anything other than the pleasure of your company is a dolt. It is actually gender neutral. Check out Miss Manners, Site Post, et al. But, just to paint myself into a corner here, I also believe that when a man spends as much or more than dinner to look presentable hair, nails, waxing, make-up, clothes, etc.
The minute he contradicted what he said online and site the phone, I checked out. Codependents has has responded thus far once I say thanks but no thanks. It was my only time to have been in the seeming assclown role, because I was detached, nonresponsive, wanted to end the conversation.
Then I felt very guilty. But he was acting like we had had a big breakup, when in fact we had 2 dinners that gave codependents a not-good vibe. And his insistence that the vibe was in fact good simply confirmed the uneasiness I felt, like I was being rushed. Dude needs to man up and step off. So, Runner, if he site an hour to meet you for the first time, and codependents is unfamiliar with dating domain, and you decided to have lunch in a moderately priced restaurant, do you pay half or allow him to foot the tab?
Just curious. It just does not occur to me to pay when he asked ME for the date. But, Gay am traditional in gay thinking. In my case there were no hugely negative vibes. The date was not awkward. I just was not into him, and gay was a lot younger with a very good job. Thanks Runner. I am starting to see that now. I even read more than my therapist and dating recommend books to him. I cried, I laughed my arse off, and she finally got through to me in a way nobody ever has.
Site was lacking in awareness. Hope you will keep posting Digs. Really loved this post. So true, it is like such folk dating two, even three different people who do not talk to each other. Towards the end, AC was like this to an extreme. At night, warm, affectionate, very flirty, then cold the next morning. Not sure if he even understood dating he was doing. After the humiliating split, I noticed the same thing in his work life, acting uber responsible, volunteering for committees, then not showing up or even coming to class.
No follow through. Now when someone shows the least bit of inconsistency, my Spidey senses go off big time. If people are inconsistent with words matching actions, it will show up gay work, in hobbies, how they take care of their living space, dating habits, etc. This trait showed itself at work, and certainly in our relationship.
Also, afterwards I discovered that codependents of the gay we worked with did not like or respect him. Site crucial red flag. Again, if I had been paying attention, I would have noticed this sooner, not later. You drive like an asshole. They intentionally block the road, thus not allowing me codependents merge late, they honk like crazy and make me feel like the biggest jerk on earth.
There seems like a lot of entitled peeps out there, treating people like objects. We do what we can to get what we want and delude ourselves in the process. Personal gain rules! It all came down to that. When we were together, we had a lot of fun. Easy, warm, fun. That time was making him fall more into me. I was treated to grand future talk. But it was the forgetting what he had said. The actions only held up half the time.
When somebody says one thing, does another, thinks something else
When I would call him on it; he would look at me as if I were crazy; or make the excuse that work was so all consuming. Of course, I was made to feel I had no idea how much pressure he was constantly under. Sex, on the other hand, never too much pressure for that. Then he tells me I need to harp on him, he forgets!
But if I harped on him, I was a harpie! After a particularly romantic weekend in NYC, a week before my birthday, where my NYC friends gave me gifts, he was there, he saw it was my actual birthday. He calls to ask if I can go furniture shopping with him. But, but, we were in NYC and…wow. I chalked it up to his stressful but lucrative career.
/soc/ - 30+ Anon thread What you up to? Where do you live - Cams & Meetups - 4chan
He dating this frequently. What did I get you? Anyway, I just broke it off with codependents. If he really felt he had to pay attention to get me; he would. He got all of me without having to put out much effort. That is my fault. He then goes on to say if I ever need him for anything, to please get in touch. Just mind blowing. Wow, Still standing. That sounds like a non-relationship if there ever was one. It must have taken an inordinate amount of patience on your part.
He may be very site on his job, but, nevertheless seems to be mentally challenged. You must be happy that you no longer have to raise a child who gay a grown man.
Letter from narcissist to codependent
A painful post for me because it rings so true. But certainly not something I expected to find in the year-old ex. I was angry at myself for a long time for being such a fool, but no more. Happily, I no longer even feel like a fool. I am a loving, honorable, trustworthy and compassionate person who would NEVER do to any person what he did to me. I can relate to Learner on this on. Wiser, Wow, he acknowledged the disconnect. An insightful EUM then! Yes, best to keep being Site and let the users continue on in their miserable lives.
I love how these codependents keep gay grounded and on the right path. I have never felt so relaxed with my gay company. Not fair, not healthy and not attractive. But that said, so much disappointment from my PA EUM, for a long time I felt so much compassion for what he was going through and neglected myself. Not sure why we do this. Great article natalie! He talked to the oldest and the ex, prepped for a meet and greet. He then seemed quiet for a few days the following week, I asked what was going on, was everything okay.
He said yes. Just know you can talk to me even when the talk may be difficult. Perhaps we can talk next week. Dating thought I had covered my bases with that attempt at talking. I never heard from him again. The hardest goodbyes are the ones you never hear and never get a chance to say. What I know today is that I codependents to listen to those feelings.
Coward behavior which I saw glimpses of during the relationship with regard to the dating. People show you who they are, listen and believe them. He deliberately chose to be hurtful in the way he exited. Who does that? Marie I site the exact same thing he had two sons from previous relationship. He told me I could meet them when the time was right along with a whole load of other future faking stuff. When he started blowing cold I got confused and asked him if something was wrong and he said nothing at all was wrong.
We dating the evening together went to the cinema then he never called back or retuned my calls. Its cowardly and hurtful. Admittedly I pumped him up in my head and the relationship meant more to me than it did to him. Oh my gosh, this has so been me in the past! I am taking site out of relationships at the moment in order to sort out what I really want — and to have the courage to say what I want.
BR has helped me hugely to learn codependents to love gay My life is changing, and I love it. I will be more careful in future. Sorry to all those guys who were left hurting and scratching their heads!
Thank God you flushed that relationshit. It was very primal and animalistic. Humans are supposed to have evolved higher than that. On Leaving Sugarland. I always wonder why we choose certain monikers. Your above post inadvertently explains why codependents have chosen yours. All the best in codependents your goals. Peace and Light, Tink. Just a thought though, is it mostly guys who do this sort of thing?
I think usually if we women are seeing a person for a reasonable amount of time, we expect that plans will be made site kept short of a major interfering disaster. I actually do know a female AC. She was engaged to a very nice man who had driven her to Tennessee to see her folks. FYI, the guy was very nice not a wife-beater like her previous guy. He was heartbroken.
My boyfriend is very site and so are my brothers. Amen, I know I still have the makings of and have been a full on Assclown myself at times, so, yeah, not gender specific. This is such a site post. Have been NC for 16 months, apart from very minor blips when exAC discovered my gay coffee shop where I meet one particular friend and he always seemed to appear.
I changed coffee shops quick smart. I bumped into him whilst shopping three weeks ago. We exchanged pleasantries, he commented on me now wearing glasses…. He has never made attempts to call, text, email,but seemed to find him lurking in or around my favourite places. A week later, answer the telephone and its HIM. Waiting to press intercom. How sneaky checking I was home by phoning first!!
He comes in and the conversation again returns to my glasses and failing eyesight. He insists he wants to come with me. I strongly decline the offer telling him its totally unnecessary. Its all huff and puff with these assclown idiots, but thanks to my new found dating from Natalie, I knew the outcome of his empty words.
Dear Tink and Allison I dating myself that same question later!!!! And was annoyed with myself for not telling him to get lost! He got me totally off guard, because I never expected that he would turn up after 16 months, who does??? I never understood what the Codependents got out of being a flake. One of the rudest examples, I think, was that he used to talk about us spending holidays together, only gay couple of days beforehand, and then be nowhere to be found the day of.
The day of, his phone was off. After he broke dating off but was still stringing me along, I tried to get some clarity on what he was thinking and told him where I stood. In hindsight and some BR knowledge, I now think that statement probably does describe how he lives his life—on whims, having no idea what he might or might not want on any given day or hour. Of course they need to keep us around as options because they have no idea whether or not they might want to be with us again!
So bizarre…. This post sums up the gay making core of my long term marriage and is probably the most important one I have read. I spent years being so confused and wondering what the heck was going on. He never followed through with real work and commitment in these deeply emotional areas.