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Here's a snapshot of what my love life has been like for the past few months. In December, a guy I went to high school with started messaging me on Facebook. That escalated to texting every day, phone dates, and him bringing up visiting me over Valentine's Day weekend he was in the Midwest, I'm in New York City. A few days after he suggested the trip, good first message online dating asked if he could come earlier than we'd planned. I was crushed. Everything was going great until we had sex and he ghosted me.
This is a lot easier said than done, but I'm finally coming around. So, what helps me actually not take it personally?
Dealing With Rejection While Dating | SELF
But there are two techniques that can sometimes give me a little bit of distance from my internal storylines. Over time, they can help ease the pain. First, when I start hearing those voices in my head saying OK, more like shouting" Something you did ruined this! But I remind myself that most people are pretty wounded from childhood and past relationshipsand they're going around acting out their wounds on each other.
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This is a way to comfort myself without deciding that I hate men, and also feel compassionate for them while still being kind and gentle to myself. And given my particular emotional wounds, I experience this as intensely painful rejection and abandonment.
I still struggle with this. I expect that I will continue to for some time to come, if not forever. In another unicorn of dating experiences, the guy who ghosted me after sex wound up un-ghosting me. And guess what?
SELF does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Alesia's Details:. About Me: I'll say what I want and need from you, so you will always know where you stand. I'll do what I say.
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